Knows she's got a pistol, layed it down on me...

This is such a horrendously bad fucking idea it's hard to comprehend the ocean size idiocy of even suggesting it.

While deeply immersed in my studies at the University of Maryland back in 1985, one of our football teams linebackers knocked on my dorm door and began accusing me of talking shit about him the prior weekend when his girlfriend was dragging his drunk ass through the hall presumably back to his room. I remember letting them in the side door after they banged on it, but NO ONE said a damn thing to the guy or his gal, but there he was, standing there in front of my door, mad as a hatter with a balled up fist ready to lay me out. Thanks to my ability to stay cool, I shrewdly and skillfully convinced him that he had the wrong guy, and perhaps the wrong floor. "Dude, who's she gonna remember (referring to his girlfriend whom he says fingered me by description as the one who made the disparaging remarks)? One of these generic looking fucksticks (pointing to a couple of my fellow hallmates whom I was studying with at the time) , or the 6'4" dude with hair half way down his back and an Iron Maiden tattoo on his arm"?

Shit like that happens a thousand times a day on campuses all across the country. I'm sure nobody will take this proposal seriously knowing the bastion of liberalism our institutions of higher learning have become, but thank god for the bat shit libs on campus for this one. Adding guns to this mix is just plain lunacy.