Random shit and shinola
Is there any wonder people* make fun of Southerners? I mean what the fuck?! This bit of ridiculousness has been all over the local media for the past week or so. Before the “scam” was revealed, every time I’d see/read a story about these two morons I’d punch myself in the face. As a transplanted New Yorker, it has become clear to me how these people lost the Civil War**. The Union army simply came across the Kennasaw Battle Field dressed in monkey suits and the Reb’s dropped their weapons and ran. Shezzz…
Me: Hey Wright Brothers, what are you guys working on there?
Orville and Wilbur: It's a flying machine that will forever change the world.
O & W: Tony, you have defeated us. I guess we'll just go drink some Draino even though it hasn't been invented yet either.
It's simply the greatest invention ever.
Next week the most wonderful time of the year gets underway and I'm trying not to get too excited about it or otherwise be unable to sleep a wink. For the benefit of those that live in Afghanistan or having no life whatsoever, we're talking about college football season of course. Although it will be an unusual season opener at Georgia Tech (they open on Thursday night curtailing our standard Ringling Bros. size tailgate), I'm still overjoyed that the season has finally arrived and look forward to taking, NOT asking, but TAKING all you football pool participants money. Each Saturday for the next four months I'll either be here, here, or in front of here if anybody needs to reach me. If folks out there find themselves in the Atlanta area and would like to join us for a game please give me a shout. I will guarantee you board your return flight home in complete state of human wreckage and hungover like you've never been.
**Or as it's referred to by the WWF pay-per-view version many of the 'things weren't so bad back then' morons call it "The War of Northern Aggression"
***Yeah right, like that would ever happen, we're like rabbits. No, seriously. Don't believe me? Ask her. Oh, wait a minute, don't do that...