Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Dicks be gone...

I hate dicks**. What are dicks you ask? Dicks are people who go out of their way to be a dick to you. How does one get deemed a dick? When everybody agrees that based on their continuous acts of dickdom, they are worthy of the title. In the case of the dicks I'm dealing with these last two weeks, there seems to be unanimous and overwhelming consensus that these individuals are indeed dicks.

How does one react to dicks? Well, since these are work dicks and I'm at an age where maturity restrains me from executing the obvious choice of poetic and just response, landing one of my now legendary left hooks upside their enormous dick head is out. Nope, all I can do is lay in wait for the day (coming soon) that I see them carting their little box of personal effects onto the elevator while on my way to lunch and ask, "So, how's it going today?"

Until that day, I must grind my teeth.

God, I hate dicks...

**The photo of Dick Van Dyke is being used in lieu of an actual penis photo to ensure that those referenced in the above post don't get out'ed do to the astounding similarity in the likeness. I have nothing against Dick Van Dyke other than the fact that he was and remains unfunny, which doesn't constitute being a "dick" per se.

11 Comments:

At 4:54 PM, May 07, 2008, Blogger Ginormous Boobs said...

Oooh...I never thought I'd say this, but I hope you are dick-less real soon.

 
At 9:36 PM, May 07, 2008, Blogger Dyna_Girl said...

nice disclaimer about DVD...

 
At 9:04 AM, May 08, 2008, Blogger cccquick said...

I had that problem in the Navy also. Here is a very old Navy saying, "One day they will transfer or I will".

 
At 2:35 PM, May 08, 2008, Blogger coolmomma said...

Hmm... I happen to love dicks! Hahha! Not what you want to hear from your sister...

 
At 3:15 PM, May 08, 2008, Blogger Tony Alva said...

CM: EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW! EEWWW!

 
At 5:13 PM, May 08, 2008, Anonymous busbee said...

Good call, TA. Too many dicks in this world. Think that guys who are the biggest dicks have the smallest penis? I think there might be a correlation there, especially since I'm so NOT a dick. Maybe Ginormous Boobs can chime in.

Even more telling is to think how few great Dicks there are in history: Dick Allen(baseball), Dick Nixon(politics), Dick Martin(comedy), and John Holmes. Are there others? I had a friend Dave Herz whose Dad went by Dick which makes me laugh just typing it.

 
At 2:34 AM, May 09, 2008, Blogger Jackson said...

The best thing you can do is take the high road. Don't let them bring you down to their level, that's what they want. Give it up to the great kharmic wheel. They'll get theirs in the end.

 
At 9:17 AM, May 09, 2008, Blogger Tony Alva said...

Buzz: Dick Nixon, LOL! Other than Dick Wagner, I draw a blank on any other cool Dicks.

Oh yeah, just admit it, you want Ginormous Boobs to weigh in here just so we can see more of her sweet avatar, although she does have this to offer...

 
At 12:32 PM, May 09, 2008, Blogger Beth said...

Here's praying for some corporate castration in your future.

 
At 3:14 PM, May 09, 2008, Blogger Mathdude said...

The all-time worst last name to go along with Dick is former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle. Man, what were his parents thinkin'?

 
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